I wonder sometimes if a depressed man that masturbates is actually a tear jerker.

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If he masturbates so furiously that he tears what he’s jerking, it’s no wonder he’s so depressed.

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I’ve been feeling really pressed lately, so maybe i’ll try that

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Seems likely to go too far in the opposite direction, but I’ll look forward to your updates on how it’s going.

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Them ain’t tears, boy!

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Extra thicc tears.

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The aftermath is a crying shame.

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