What if Soy Milk is just regular Milk introducing itself in Spanish?

When I opened my fridge I there was a bottle that said “soy sauce” on shelf.

I didn’t want to be rude, so I said “¡Hola Sauce! Soy PetteriPano”.

And of course, “Hello, I am sauce.” -soy sauce

Hello, I am lent green.

Hola milk!

Or is it 1% milk?

Still kinda disappointed nobody has come up with a brand of soy milk called “Soy Capitan!”